Mercredi

What's new at this year's
Tennessee Williams Festival
~Susan Larson~T'n'T Bathrobe named Desire
~Tons of authors signing and reading in New Orleans this week

New Orleans Newspaper Man Takes Pulitzer Prize
~Editilla O'Rilla d'Aphasia
...on da'beat~off da'record...
Rudolf Manson Vorkapic, publisher of the city's newest and most high'ly suspected "news" "paper", The New Orleans Levee, was apprehended in advance of the Tennessee Williams Literary Festival in a French Quarter bathroom (probably Molly's) (more likely The Abbey) (who knows...) with a Pulitzer Prize tucked quickly and surreptitiously in his trousers.
Alleging that he had "borrowed" it from the Tennessee Williams Estate--who itself, according to urban myth, had lifted the Prize from the Truman Capote Estate--who in turn had always maintained that Truman "won" his Pulitzer from Gore Vidal in a game of strip poker--Vorkapic also quite drunkenly noted that this particular sheet is still considered valuable despite its questionable authenticity and condition when discovered on his person by offcifers of the NOPD, to wit: rumpled, stained and covered with "tacky" finger prints.
According to former prosecutor Eddie Jordan, who has been retained to represent the Vorkapic Estate, the Levee publisher was allegedly spotted on a night in question with no answers in Pirates Alley, stalking Festival Luminaries, dressed as a Silver Cowboy and doing Stella Shouts with one of those little robot-sounding whizzlers. Indeed one Faulkner Bookstore employee, who spoke to da'Ladda on the condition of annonymocity due to the sheer'ass creep'ness factor, recalls even being tasked to keep an eye on Mr. Vorkapic as he skulked about the back of the store, leering around the Patricia Clarkson promotional section, loudly queering festival participants, passing tourists, wall paintings, anyone within earshot---"Do'ya really know what it means? Do'ya???"
Apparently Mr. Vorkapic's defense will be that this Pulitzer Prize is not supposed to have even existed, in the first place, and The New Orleans Levee is not a real newspaper, in the 2nd place ...and...and...he was actually just trying to Low-5 the ociffer in the adjoining stall, who he alledges he thought was fellow newsman Chris Rose...really...I swear ...it's true...what?
At Press Time our Perp was last seen being led into OPP, the House of the Rising Pun, wearing the traditional orange jumpsuit but with the added accessory of a white, velcro straight-jacket and mumbling something about wanting to dig up the real Pulitzer
and "blow up real large".
More as events unfold.

Great Muppet Caper
~Your Right Hand Thief

There is no escaping the E-Maelstrom
~We Could Be Famous

“True Life Adventures” of a corporate lawyer~slabbed

Lafitte residents demand levee protection~Matt Scallan

LRA OKs generator program
~Allen M. Johnson Jr.
~State officials did not exactly salute retired Army Lt. Gen. Russel Honoré on Wednesday, but they may be on the same page as the “hero” of Hurricane Katrina. The Louisiana Recovery Authority approved a $32 million generator program to help cool the ill and elderly at hospitals.

Hump Day Ump Day
~Pierce O'Donnell

Ice jam break spills more water into Bismarck area
~Blake Nicholson
~One of Doug Stensguard's dogs, Annie, looks out over what used to be a 5-acre yard and an out building that is now flooded by the rising Red River, Tuesday, March 24, 2009 in Fargo, N.D. Stensguard built an earthen and sandbag dike around his home in the hope of holding back the rising floodwater from the Red River. AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster

Pioneering Hospital Opens In New Orleans~The only hospital in the world dedicated to reconstruction for women facing breast cancer

Notes from New Orleans: The Return of the ‘Miracle Mile’ ~Walter Gallas

Two Boots: New York and
New Orleans make sweet pizza
together~Blaze Nutter

Nine Lives~Food Music Justice

New Orleans Rocks
~Barry Yeoman