Saturday, April 5, 2008


"When they want a broad with balls they call me."
Happy Birthday Baby Jane!

Gambit Sneak Preview: Tisserand on Morris

Corps says remain calm
The Swan Creek Bridge at Forsyth lies partially under water as Bull Shoals fills from water released into the lakes upstream. Shadow Rock Park is completely underwater, with the fair barn’s roof the only thing still visible of the large arena. Photo by Donna Clevenger - Branson Daily News

Real Engineers grill Corps of Engineers on coast plans
--which are over a YEAR LATE and really present actually NO PLANS but only plans to make more plans to study and plan to plan on getting back to Congress and the, uh, American Tax-payers with a plan...

~Robert Meade, a retired U.S. Geological Survey hydrologist charged with peer-reviewing coastal restoration plans of the Army Corps of Engineers, seemed perturbed in a Thursday meeting when corps officials said they needed "more study" to answer a basic question, to wit: how much sediment is carried by the Mississippi River, the main source of mud for rebuilding Louisiana's coast.

Basic information on the sediment carried by the Mississippi and Atchafalaya rivers is produced every year by the Geological Survey -- and has been for more than 100 years, Meade said. Yet corps officials, in the document, seemed to display little understanding of the river's potential and provided no explanation of that and other vital issues in the draft plan to restore the state's eroding coastline. The plan, called the Louisiana Coastal Protection and Restoration Plan, was supposed to have been completed last December, but now isn't expected until this December. Congress had requested that it contain a variety of levee, gate and coastal restoration alternatives that could be started quickly to protect south Louisiana from the equivalent of Category 5 hurricanes.

Editilla blows a 50amp fuse and needs to know a'bit about at least 2 things: Free Press & The Will To Survive De Ja Vue All Over Again.
1)-Why can't the Times Picayune publish the Names Who'Dat n'What "Corps officials" seem to display so little understanding of this situation?
Did the Corps have a table-full of engineers or just this one flack'hack project director--who has worked exclusively for the Corps since stepping out of college?
What are the names of every Corps Official at these "meetings" and what is their Job with the Corps? Are they engineers or Pubic Relations spokespersons? Why aren't they in fucking jail? Well ok, that last one is my thing.

But why not give us the names of these PERPS? Does anyone reading this know their identities? If so then please get it on the Wire. We may not be able to find redress on their shiftless asses in a Court of Law, but we can at least drag these criminals before the Court of Public Opinion --and maybe even perchance, against all odds, Replace the Faux Engineers with Real Engineers and then move on to Possible Solutions to this Problem.
Names! We Want Their Forkin'Names!
This innoculated bullshit journalistic appeasem
ent fatally did not serve the public interests before the levees failed (and flooded the TP's own offices) and in fact greatly endangers the public safety now and our future developement along civilized lines.

The Times~Picayune either needs to do its job or close its doors before the Corps of Engineers does it for them--AGAIN!
The Times~Picayune must either get on the goddamn stick or get out of the forkin'way.
There'in lies some of our darkest irony, the fact that the New Orleans blog-0-reamery has proven their Acumen to do the job of a free press. For example: the title of the TP's sorta half-lede today -Blakely blunders in Times interview is likely in response to Think New Orleans' relentless posts of nearly 1 year ago to the day. The lede should have read: "Blakely Sticks Other Foot In Mouth in Times interview, falls flat on ass!", or more truly, "Black Blakey Blames Lax Recovery On Dumb Niggers At City Hall" Granted, the TP doesn't have Editilla writing their headlines, for obvious reasons which we are not psycholerarily qualified to deal.
However, we have Jeffery
da'Librarian--on this scene with real blogging, timelines, context and (Hey Everybody! Watch this!) Salient Information that we can the rest of da'impropere Rhesus'intelligent'n'funny Rising Tide...minus One Big Stogey.
we do have smart Alan and we gots Liptrap, Oyster, Gentilly Girl, Dangerblond, Irks many more. The forkin'list reads like like an insurgent rap sheet which stretches from here to the Elysian Fields...and da'band plays on...and da'beat grows harder...
...and we rise...all da'way back da'end a da'2nd Line.

We don't need no stinking wimpy'ass "paper of record".

As yer oh'so humble Editilla proves everyday, this ain't Rocket Scientry --but it is harder than riding a tricycle into a fire hydrant...and any damn fool can run from a broken levee?
Which brings us to...
This Other Damn Fool Turkey-->
2)-Why is such an absolute lackey bullshitter still on the job with the Exquixotic Corps of Engineers?
~TP: "Now, Tim Axtman, the senior corps official explaining the study, was saying it
"won't include the specific identification of a detailed plan." W.T.F.???
~~Again, no folow-up questions like: "Ha Ha! You're kidding...right?" or "WHY?" or "So, Project Director Axtman, with a straight face you maintain that after all this time, money, death and destruction the Corps will still NOT HAVE A DETAILED PLAN?" or "Mr. Assman, what have you been doing with yourself all these years we have paid your goddamn salary, while our coastline washed away?" or "Assman, have you been just playing with yourself (again) in that office since your levees failed and flooded our city?" or at least "Assman, do you actually take us, the survivors of your slight-of-hand engineeing, to be fucking idiots?"
Then, presumably, Assman might respond, look us in the eye, say it to our faces: "Well, DUH? Get the picture, you drugged fucking clueless idiots! You're all gonna die-off...eventually
anyway--UND mine'own Exquixotic Corps of Engineers vill still be here. Repairing everything ve haf'built again! UND YOU VILL PAY FOR IT again and again!
UND our verk vill set you free! Free
as a bird on a string
--like your venerable "Press"--like your Electorate,
Seeeellee Stoo'peed Americaners!"

Why has he not been fired?
We cannot t'row him, or his haute'henchmoneers, in jail for lying to us. But, can somebody at least issue this mouf'piece carney faux "engineer" a write-up memo...or something? ...throw a pie at him? Do they even do job performance evaluations at the Corps of Engineers? Doubt it. I'mean what's dis'patsy t'do when d'Donald starts d'rollin New Orleans? We know Bid'D don'play...

Court upholds dismissal of Katrina victim's wrongful death suit
~What is wrong with this picture?

Reasons I love New Orleans - #497

Storm tax relief ‘step closer’

Forecasters Work to Avoid Next New Orleans

Botanist from Broadmoor shares what he learned in the Amazon

Mary Herczog “Frommer’s Portable New Orleans”

On Hot Gay Statues: New Orleans On the Road To Recovery
~The Gay Recluse

Spring City Walk Schedule
SilenceIsViolence City Walks is a citywide group of concerned citizens that emphasis exploring the New Orleans cityscape on foot, with the hope of spreading a message of peace in our city. The City Walks seek to nurture solidarity among all citizens and assert a positive and safe presence on the streets. The group honors the strong, distinctive neighborhoods of our city, while they express unity in seeking a safer New Orleans.
The Spring 2008 City Walks schedule
(all walks on Saturdays):

April 5: Treme walk with the Social Aid and Pleasure Club Task Force
April 19: Uptown walk: National Crime Victims’ Rights Week
May 10: Holy Cross walk with the Holy Cross Neighborhood Association
May 24: Central City walk with United for Peace in New Orleans
Full routes are posted each week at the SilenceIsViolence web site.

The Treme City Walk is a prelude to the New Orleans Bayou Steppers Social Aid and Pleasure Club annual second-line parade, to be held Sunday, April 6 at 12 noon. The City Walk route traces sections of the second-line route. Ernie K-Doe’s is the home of the New Orleans Bayou Steppers. District Attorney Keva Landrum-Johnson will address members of the Social Aid and Pleasure Club community following anti-violence walk this Saturday evening.

Up Close with New Orleans' Native Daughter, Courtney Bryan~all about Jazz

Drum! Interactive Struts New Orleans with Stanton Moore

The ancient practice of kirtan enjoys global renaissance and local recognition

Jazz trumpeter leads New Orleans' cultural rebirth

Aaron Neville moving to the north shore


Friday, April 4, 2008



in a word to the wisdom tooth
to tell, or not the truth
so open up and say ahh-men
rinse cup, then spit again

forked tongue in double speak
pretty soon you just might
spring a leak
inhale before you begin
your iron lung's a bag of wind

there's a fire in the hole
fire in the hole
there's a fire in the hole, fire

sweet 'n' sour, filiblister
faucet pouring, fresh 'n' bitter
come on smile and say cheese
on a count of three
got a mindful of decavities

chew your words, lest you choke
you better watch your mouth
wash it out with soap
tongue tied in a tangled web
your bile inside better left unsaid

there's a fire in the hole
fire in the hole
there's a fire in the hole, fire

rudder of ship, which sets the course
does not the bit, bridle the horse
great is the forest, set by a small flame
like a tongue on fire, no one can tame

Written by:
Edward Van Halen, Gary Cherone,
Michael Anthony, Alex Van Halen.
© 1998 Van Halen Publishing, LLC ASCAP
All Rights Reserved

Editilla laments~Listening to VanHalen.
I am also reminded of an old coal-miner's strike song in the John Sayles movie Matewan:
"They got Fire in their Hearts and Fire in their Souls
--but there ain't gonna be no FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
...searching music for the person we have lost, reading nolablogs' comments, leaving sometimes tears, trying to put up today's Ladder...
to see today's "news" as something other than the faint, tinty echo of a spoiled and clueless civilization lost amidst the passing of what can only be called a thousand train cry.
~~And as an aside...Editilla stilla on'da loooong road'homy...and as such, tonight I will debut my d'reformed former Memphis band, The Defoliants, at the 8th Annual Fools Ball in North Mississippi. Figures, eh?
Here is my favorite lyric from the song I will perform tonight in memory of Ashley Morris:
He wear No Shoe Shine
He got Toe'Jam Football
He got Monkey Finger
He shoot Coca Cola
He say- I know you! You know me!

Come Together...Right Now...
Over Me!
...then I remember...
...Every good'bye ain't gone. Every shut'eye ain't sleep.
...fuck these fuckity fuckin'fuckmooks!

SPP Summit New Orleans — Parliament Protest 04/19/2008

Exquixotic Corps of Engineers defend NJ levee~Officials from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers (USACE) defended the legitimacy of the Keansburg flood prevention system after it was rendered obsolete by preliminary flood insurance rate maps (FIRMS) released March 17.

Shaw Awarded $700M Inner Harbor Navigation Canal Hurricane Protection Project

Whoa! Now dats'talkin Big Katuna!

Senate Adds Tax Breaks to Housing Bill

235th American Chemical Society National Meeting In New Orleans

Convention Center Gets New Name

Judge: Couple has right to trial in Katrina Bridge blockade suit

New Orleans Mayor Plans Trip to China~Plans to market Chocolate City to Forbidden City, with return stops in Sin City, Sun City and The Emerald City. Itenerary UNAVAILABLE at press time.
Editilla t'rillas~ C. Baby Ray better watch dat'mouf as the Communists there get rather ticky of late when people start mouf'in off...and also, I mean...put a pair of large round glasses on'im...wrap a robe arou---naaaahhh! Not in dis'life time brudda!

Notes from New Orleans: Riverfront Redevelopment
~Walter Gallas


Thursday, April 3, 2008


This is the last post~Ashley Morris: the blog
Editilla weeps...Fortuna is a Cruel Reaper. Oh Noble Mon! What a loss!
Bless his funny fuckmook'n heart and his family and all who got a chance to know our Fearless King Blogger of da'Loyal Royal Smack Down.

Ashley, Liptrap, and Oyster were the very first NOLA Bloggers to encourage me early on and say "Cool, Dude! Go for it!"
The New Orleans News Ladder is directly inspired by Ashley Morris, Avatar of Sinn Féin

~"Proud to call it home, indeed."
"Fuck you Chicago Tribune. We are NEW ORLEANS. SINN FEIN."
~"We're New Fucking Orleans. We're still here."
~"If I do nothing else in my miserable career, if I can make somebody care about us, then its worth it. Because that's all that matters."
~"You're either for Cat 5 levees, or you're for the terrorists."
~"One day, one fine day, I will have a Zulu coconut. In the meantime, I have a Leviathan stuffed dragon. Well. OK. My cute little 1 1/2 year old daughter has a Leviathan stuffed dragon. But she lets me play with it."

ASCE Scandal?

"He (Raymond Seed) talks about the supposed cover-up. Well, our people live here in New Orleans ... We don't stand behind our work. We live behind our work."~Maj. Gen. Don Riley, the corps' director of civil works.
Editorilla begs somebody to differ~Excuse my lyin'eyes but I did indeed live and stand behind "their work" and it would appear that they sure as hell ran like nutria from a dogfight--Evacuated--from behind "their work"---in some cases even before "their work" failed too! And not that it matters but Don Riley doesn't live in New Orleans or behind any levees.
He did however have a hand in building a lot of them. Not that it matters...jus'sayin...
Here is his office address:

441 G Street, NW
Washington, DC 20314
(202) 761-0008

Louisiana Guard Helping Save Crops from Louisiana Flood
~Spc. Micheal Champion of Bernice, La., carefully places a 3,000-pound, 4x4-ft “super sac” filled with soil along the levee north of the Morganza Spillway.

Build It and They Will Come and Greenwarsh it~Folkface

New Wetlands Mitigation Rule

The "Politics of Disaster" at AERA~Mike Klonsky

Lame Duck FEMA chief says don't expect free ice, generators after next hurricane
Editilla t'inkin along'da lines of MAINSTREET ,
you twit penis'head fool.

Flood-area residents begin evacuations~The Vicksburg Post
Mary Jenkins, who said last week she would know when to leave the area where she has lived for 52 years, and Charles Williams look out over Jenkins' submerged yard this morning as she prepares to evacuate. (Joshua Corban * The Vicksburg Post)

Exquixotic Corps of Engineers recommends So. Illinois residents be prepared for more flooding

Letter to the Editor, Hurricane Katrina and Disaster Preparedness~by Anna Maria Pou, M.D.

FEMA Trailer Resident Testifies before House Subcommittee

Katrina Lawsuit Stays in Federal Court

Senator Dorgan again on Iraq waste~Main Owl

Lack of disasters boosts profits at Lloyd's of London, Shakes Their Money Maker

NY prof gives Katrina dogs a home

Okay . . . Whatever you say

A Williams Fest's literary wrap-up and look ahead~Susan Larson

Warm up for Jazzfest at the Old Algiers RiverFest
Singer Germaine Bazzle performs with George French at theOld Algiers Riverfest.

Rhythm is My Business: The Life & Music of Milt Hinton

Benny Waters: Innovation in Longevity


Wednesday, April 2, 2008


September 11, 2007 @ approximately 11AM EDT.
In New Orleans: A Status Report

~"It has been less than three years since 80 percent of New Orleans and nearly 200,000 homes were quickly ruined because of poorly constructed levees. Sixteen acres were violently destroyed in downtown Manhattan almost seven years ago, and there is still an open pit there."

Editilla schillas~This is a Letter in response to the NY Times article from April Fool's Day, a favorite New Orleans holiday, when one might think they were kidding. But alas they are difinately Not Kidding.
Editilla declined to post said offensive article and hence further not propagate such baised, poison ivy league rudity. Nice to know how your friends
really feel, huh? Please let's do let'em know We Care!

OH YEAH!!! New Orleans' Own Big Hero, da'Noble Oyster,
Your Right Hand Thief,
Makes Washington Post's 'Best of State Polutics Blog List!'

Editilla say~OW! GOOD'GAWD!
Get Down! Get Back Up Again!!! OW!

Louisiana Governor Declares Flood Emergency

Notes from da'Front
The American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE) gave over 30 power-point presentations crafted to mislead the American public on the Corps' role in the New Orleans flooding.
Records Levees.Org recently obtained under the Freedom of Information Act show the Corps paid ASCE to "communicate lessons learned" from Katrina. But the narrated power-points presented mostly in 2007 downplay the role of the Corps in the disaster and shift blame onto the local citizens.
Senator Landrieu issued a statement of her intention to file the 8/29 Investigation Act this week. The need for a truly independent 8/29 Investigation Act is now clear as ever.
Today, please call Senator Landrieu's office at 202-224-5824 and encourage her to immediately file the 8/29 Investigation Act under her Disaster Recovery Subcommittee!
Be sure to mention you reside in Louisiana.
Want to do more?
Call Senator David Vitter at 202-224-4623 and urge him to co-sponsor the 8/29 Investigation Act!
Be sure to mention you reside in LA.
Click here for the AP story
Click here for the Channel 4 TV Eyewitness News coverage.
Click here for Senator Landrieu's statement.
Click here for list of venues and presentations by ASCE:
Two samples of ASCE's powerpoints

University of Wisconson~(Scroll down to New Orleans Levees.)
Auburn University
Thank you!
Sandy Rosenthal
Founder, Levees.Org
Editlla would like to appeal to our readers in the other (to date) 42 States who regularly ride this Ladder. One single group (mighty they are) in New Orleans ain't gonna get'it! Without the rest of you this dog just will not hunt! We all must help get this done. Sandy at directs this primarily to Louisianans, however all of you need to contact your own elected representatives and have them sign onto the 8/29 Commission. At the very least send them a link to The Corps of Engineers has lost its reputation. The ASCE has lost its reputation. They are lying. They are wrong. They are breaking the rules. They are all about Public Relations now. But that, as we have seen, is NOT what makes for safe infrastructure. Good Engineering makes things real. Please email your favorite Presidential Candidate. Take the time to get this done now--because I have been there and once those levees fail YOU WILL HAVE NO MORE TIME! The Exquixotic Corps is literally everywhere you want to be!

Judge exonerates barge company in Katrina lawsuit

Conference on College Composition and Communication

The American College Of Obstetricians And Gynecologists To Convene In New Orleans, LA

VDAY 1({})
~Eve Ensler's play 'Vagina' - 10 years later

~Ensler's Bay Area stop was part of a cross-country trip that began in February, a tour that will reach climax (of course) April 11 in New Orleans at an event called
V to the Tenth~a two-day, 10th-anniversary purrr'tay featuring the likes of Opra Winfrey, Jane Fonda and Rosario Dawson, among other celebrities.

Tulane's Environmental Law Conference this weekend

Tulane Libraries Recovery Center Celebrates Integration of Restored Books

Limited visas hurt La. business

Ed Sanders' Katrina Epic
~"They'd privatize your assholes if they could get away with it!"~ Ed Sanders, 2007

DaSlob Tribute: New Orleans legend Pete Fountain

The jazzy soul of Arlee Leonard

Four decades later, Davies remain on top

New Orleans jazz – without the banjo?~Review from Barbados

Henry Butler CD Release Party and Basin Street Records 10th Anniversary - May 3, 2008~all about Jazz


Tuesday, April 1, 2008


New Orleans Newspaper Man Takes Pulitzer Prize
~by Editilla d'Aphasia

...on da'beat~off da'record...
Rudolf Manson Vorkapic, publisher of the city's newest and most high'ly suspected "news" "paper", The New Orleans Levee,
was apprehended during the recent Tennessee Williams Literary Festival in a French Quarter bathroom (probably Molly's) (more likely The Abbey) (who knows...) with a Pulitzer Prize tucked quickly and surrepitously in his trousers.
Alledging that he had "borrowed" it from the Tennessee Williams Estate--who itself, according to urban myth, had lifted the Prize from the Truman Capote Estate--who in turn had always maintained that Truman "won" his Pulitzer from Gore Vidal in a game of strip poker--Vorkapic also quite drunkenly noted that this particular sheet is still considered valuable despite its questionable authenticity and condition when discovered on his person by offcifers of the NOPD, to wit: rumpled, stained and covered with "tacky" finger prints.
According to former prosecutor Eddie Jordan, who has been retained to represent the Vorkapic Estate, the Levee publisher was allegedly spotted on a night in question with no answers in Pirates Alley, stalking Festival Luminaries, dressed as a Silver Cowboy and doing Stella Shouts with one of those little robot-sounding whizzlers. Indeed one Faulkner Bookstore employee, who spoke to da'Ladda on the condition of annonymocity due to the sheer'ass creep'ness factor, recalls even being tasked to keep an eye on Mr. Vorkapic as he skulked about the back of the store, leering around the Patricia Clarkson promotional section, loudly queering festival participants, passing tourists, wall paintings, anyone within earshot---"Do'ya really know what it means? Do'ya???"
Apparently Mr. Vorkapic's defense will be that this Pulitzer Prize is not supposed to have even existed, in the first place, and The New Orleans Levee is not a real newspaper, in the 2nd place,...and...and...he was actually just trying to Low-5 the ociffer in the adjoining stall, who he alledges he thought was fellow newsman Chris Rose...really...I swear's true...what?
At Press Time our Perp was last seen being led into OPP, the House of the Rising Pun, wearing the traditional orange jumpsuit but with the added accessory of a white, velcro straight-jacket and mumbling something about wanting to dig up the real Pulitzer
and "blow up real large".
More as events unfold.

Day 947: April Fools Of 2008~Maitri's VatulBlog

The emperor has no clout~The Louisiana Weekly

On Blakely-Worship
~Liptrap's Lament

Road Home efforts to recover overpayments will not create hardships
~April Fool!!!

New Orleans Watches a Rising Mississippi~Cain Burdeau

As the Mississippi River rises, Exquixotic Corps practices Spillway opening
U.S. Army Corps of Engineers work on top of the Bonnet Carre Spillway structure Tuesday, April 1, 2008 in Norco. The Corps was conducting its annual drill by pulling some of the wooden needles from the structure. Photo: Brett Duke

New Orleans levee redesign flawed warns UK engineer

NY attorney general rebukes Army Corps of Engineers~Andrew Cuomo says Corps is “effectively silencing the community."

Ms Senate rejects recovery projects

Scientist: CDC Bosses Ignored Warning

Monday, March 31, 2008


Grocery Ninja: Thousand- Year-Old Eggs and the Horse Urine Myth
~Serious Eats founder accuses Corps of spinning blame, a few more details~WDSU

Corps of Engineers forms its own, more favorable 'Citizen's Groups'~Ohio citizens groups say landfill officials have dismissed their input.
“Apparently public participation is good until it gets to impact what they do,” Walter D. Garrow, former chairman of the Lake Ontario Ordnance Works Restoration Advisory Board, said about the Corps of Engineers' dismissal of his organization.
The corps, overseeing an investigation into radioactive and chemical wastes at the former ordnance works, announced in January it wants to organize a new community group. Group members say corps officials have been sending the message that they’re asking too many questions and seeking too much background information.

Murphy Oil looks to expand after Katrina oil spill

More on the Ocean Springs Survey~Multi-Peril Insurance: Dead for the Year?~slabbed

Insurance chief up against Louisiana's past

Disaster survivor: F.A. Richard takes control
Surviving the big one: 7 lessons learned from the decade's deadliest disasters~computerworld

Louisiana Crawfish Festival Returns To St. Bernard Civic Center~Second fest since hurricane Katrina appears a success~Katrina Connection


Sunday, March 30, 2008


Who makes your favorite Bloody Mary?~Chowhound NOLA

Bead Tree and Katrina collections~City of Saints
Editilla say See? Didn't I tol'ya?
In New Orleans we grow our beads on TREES and sleep with Glue Guns under our pillows!

Cell phone movies from New

Katrina victims may have to repay money
~Upon receiving money from Road Home, grantees sign a batch of forms, including one that says they must refund any overpayments. H/T'n'T`anks to'da Brooklyn Girl in'da City of Saints

Mayor Connie Moran Interview on Wind Insurance and Resident Survey

Federal funds for dredging projects difficult to acquire

That's Sure a Big Site~Mary Evelyn

Cadillac Desert: The American West and Its Disappearing Water~Book review by Mark Larson

Chainsaws and Wisteria~Yankee Belle

Brad and Angelina married in New Orleans?

The Glass Mendacity

Playwright's festival swells dramatically in New Orleans

Chris Rose: New Orleans characters square off on issues

Katrina Story #2 ~Throwing Light
The Pearlington, Ms. man in this photo had endured thirteen abdominal surgeries. Before the storm, he had become complacent and even depressed. He sat around the house all day and did nothing. He withdrew from family life and all activity. And when the storm came, he sent them to higher ground, while he stayed behind to ride out the storm at home. She thinks he was hoping to die there. But he didn’t die.
In fact, once the storm passed, he was the first one out clearing trees from the road and helping neighbors get food and water. And every day since then, he has been working to rebuild his home, and the homes of others. This woman said that hurricane Katrina gave her her husband back.

Russell reaches into the past for blues-based show

Roof problems delay New Orleans jazz park

Roots Rocker Susan Cowsill Kicks Off The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival